Help me with my grip



I'm fairly new to firearms – been shooting for one year since taking a basic handgun course using a LW Commander which I inherited from my dear departed father. Love that gun, but wanted a different one for personal defense. So I bought a brand new Colt Defender for CCW in January.

I've put about 1000 rounds through it so far. I'm getting failure to feed on a regular basis. It's ammo independent; it happens with Blazer, Federal, Herters. All 230gr FMJ. I've swapped mags from the Colt mags to Wilson Combat and still have the issue. I clean and oil it after every use (usually 100 rounds at least).

The FTF doesn't appear to be dependent on which round. It can happen on #2 - #7. Mostly the round either gets pushed against the ramp and the slide is stuck open. Every so often the round gets stuck pushing against the top of the barrel with the slide stuck open. Twice, the slide went into the slide-lock position without a round stripping off the magazine. The rate of FTF is guesstimated at 8%. That's one for every two mags, on average (NOTE: I might be slightly overstating that due to frustration). Also, I've shot single hand (strong and weak side) and never had FTF.

From what I've read here, the 3" guns have very little room for error when it comes to grip mechanics, and even slight limp-wristing can result in FTF due to the short slide action. I get that. I never had a problem with Dad's Commander, and I'm not willing to blame the gun for what could easily be my own error.

I want this to be my carry gun, but if I can't trust it at least 99% of the time (100% would be nice, but I'm willing to accept the 1% risk), I may have to look to a Commander for personal defense.

So I'm asking for help. I always thought I had a firm grip on the gun. How can I improve my grip and/or how do I know if it is in fact a limp-wrist issue?